Looking Back

Well it's been about 3 weeks since my last post, apologies. The weeks up to the competition were crazy for me. I wasn't nervous - I had put in the work and just had to continue what I had been doing the last 20+ weeks - but I was overwhelmed with everything I had to get done.

Mary came to paint me. What an experience. Plenty of inappropriate comments while I stood in my birthday suit with my leg propped on the arm of a chair so she could get the right lighting on me. And I was freezing. It was below 60* in my apartment. Yes, I could've turned on the heat, but I only have so much money to spend, gotta be wise with your finances folks! We also realized how AWFUL my apartment lighting is.. in every room. We had to reposition lamps and I was continuously moving to make sure there weren't streaks and the color was even. It was a process. But thanks Mary. I don't know what I would have done if she weren't there!

The competition itself was such an incredible thing. I loved every minute of it. Seriously. In the morning it was just men's open body building before me - so we figured I'd have at least an hour and a half before getting on stage. Ummm.. no. Probably 25 minutes after starting they were making last call for all open figure competitors. Were my shoes on? Toes taped? Lipstick on, earrings in, suit glued down? No. And I still had to pump up and get oiled down. I started freaking out. I was so flustered I couldn't tear off a piece of tape for my toes, it took like 5 minutes just to get my heels on. I was shaking. There were no available weights so I just started doing pushups and dips in my heels and in a suit that was riding up my ass. Nothing out of the ordinary back stage. Then I went to get oiled up and was still so flustered that I couldn't even think how awkward it was that a line of guys were sitting there staring at all of us and 2 other guys with rubber gloves were criscoing up my chest and thighs. Whatever, they probably hate their jobs by the end of the day. I walked out on stage and hit my poses perfectly (well I'm sure they weren't perfect but.. pretty solid) and just felt like I was radiating. I couldn't stop smiling. I love it. And I didn't fall.. Always a plus!

Meredith and Mary were there for me in the morning and it was so wonderful hearing them on stage and having support to talk to after getting off stage. Seriously made my day that they were both there to share this moment since they had both but so supportive throughout the entire process.

Mary and I then went to my Kansas-neighbor-turned-NC-friend Jack's place and watched football and relaxed with him, Katie, and Bliz (who they were watching.. so nice of them!). We had to be back at the theater at 4:45 so the rest of the night was pretty long. Watched the first half of the show to support a friend I made (yes, I still remember her name :) ), and then hung out back stage watching other people finish up, stuff their faces, and clear out. I had plenty of time to get ready and get nervous for the night show. Also didn't help that so many of my wonderful PT friends came out to support me! And apparently a guy had done a little break dancing on stage before we went out. So hitting my poses at night was not as great, but honestly it didn't matter.

This week since has been interesting. It's so nice to have a social life again and let loose a bit. But at the same time, my nutrition is off. I feel like I should be indulging - even though I don't particularly want to - so then I do and my stomach has hurt all week basically. I also only took Sunday off from the gym, but I go there and have no plan and no idea what to work and I hate it. It's nice to have freedom but I need more structure. So that's what I'm working on this weekend - meal plans and workout plans for the next few weeks.

I have yet to decide if I'll compete again. I love the idea of having a goal, of being dedicated to something and living this healthy and strong lifestyle. But my goal all along was just to dedicate myself to the training, work hard, stick with it, and compete - and I did that. So maybe it's time to explore something else.. but maybe I'd like to do it at least 1 more time. Who knows!

48 Days: Barbie or Britney?

I painted my nails yesterday for this first time in a grip. And they turned out beautifully. Barbie pink and all. It was honestly the most beautiful paint job I have ever completed -- not one chip, not one drip of polish on my skin -- I was impressed with myself. And then I got to work and ruined two of them. Sad day.

It's raining now in Chapel Hill and I'm a bit disappointed. This week has had the most beautiful weather, and I had planned on going hiking with Blizzard in Pitsboro this morning, but the rain but a damper on that idea.. literally. So poor Bliz will just have to suffer through my day of studying, again. Sometimes the life of a dog must be extremely boring.

This week was uneventful. Lots of school work, lots of reading, lots of working. I had some great workouts this week, though. I gave up on the 6am gym sessions because I felt I wasn't able to push myself as well, and that the quality of my workout was highly variable. So I started going around 7:30 pm, gym is dead. The workouts have been much better but I don't like that now I'm sleeping in until 6/630 am. I feel like I'm wasting my day, even though I know the majority of you are still sound asleep.  That's what happens when you're a morning person. I'm also recently obsessed with the show Prison Break. It came out in 2005 so chances are you've seen it... or you have completely missed it like me. Anyway, it's on Netflix and it is AMAZING. So, so, good I encourage you to blow off everything you have to do and sit down for hours and watch it. You won't regret it. Well, you might regret the blowing things off part, but not the butt-sitting and entertainment.

I was also supposed to have my first posing session with Meredith this week, but unfortunately things came up and we had to reschedule. Such is life. I suppose it will give me more time to practice on my own so I don't look like a complete fool when I first meet her. Yes, I said first. No, I have not yet met the woman I obsessively obey and cling to every word she says. Whatever. It's just like you idolized Britney Spears when you were younger. I bet you wish you never gave up on that dream - you could have had a 55-hour Vegas marriage with your best grade school friend, the same year get engaged to a guy as sexy as K-Fed after knowing him only 3 months (even though his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his 2nd kid), have 2 babies, get divorced, go to rehab for a day, shave your head, go back to rehab, get fat, and then get out and be amazing again. Actually, besides the 3 years of chaos, her life isn't all that bad.

Time seems to be moving slowly lately. I am 7 weeks away from competition, and I feel like it's been forever since I was 10 weeks out. I'm ready for it to be here. Yes, I still have a lot of work to do but I am just eager for it to be November. Ahh, it will be here before I know it though. Just 48 more days..

57 Days: Tears on the Treadmill

I am proud of myself. My good friend Stephanie wanted to go to celebrate her birthday at a mexican restaurant. I didn't eat one chip or have one sip of a margarita, and still enjoyed the company. Didn't get to bed until about 11:30pm - which is super late, but still woke up by 6:30am so that I could get to the gym before work.

I had a pretty great chest workout, increased weight and reps and felt good throughout. This whole week has been a great week of workouts, but I hadn't gotten too many days of cardio in, so I'll be hitting the gym this weekend too. Which I'm perfectly happy about. I'd give up days of 3 hour workouts and put in two extra 40 minute days. Worth it. Anyway, this morning I was on the treadmill (16% incline 3.0 mph and still keeping my HR within range. Getting fit!) I was doing my daily reading of SI, and I stumbled upon, well flipped to, an article about the Georgia baseball team. Oh. My. Gosh. Tear jerker. I don't know when I become so soft. I think it was when I lived with some soccer guys the summer after my junior year of college and one of them introduced me to Soap.net and the great show The O.C. Yup. I hadn't seen more than an episode before and every day when I came home from summer school we would sit on the couch and watch this show. Anyway, that led me to Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, etc, etc and now I'm a softy and cry whenever I read articles and watch TV shows/movies. So there I was on the treadmill, sweating all over the belt and the SI magazine, and the tears started flowing. I am sure I looked like a fool, but it was such a sad situation. Makes me feel blessed to have everything I do have in my life and a healthy family and all my friends who are such a great support and amazing people. Blessed.

I made it to work, where they were giving us all cake to celebrate the months birthdays/anniversaries and what not. Turned that down as well. I am having such a great week - 100% with my nutrition, great workouts - and I am not giving that up, so I said no. Another great thing that happened at work, I spent about 2 minutes in an elevator.. just standing there before I realized it wasn't moving because I hadn't pressed the button. Interesting day to say the least.

I also got tonight, Sunday brunch, and Wednesday night off work since we are overstaffed which is GREAT. More time to devote to my school and my fitness and my Bliz. So today after work, I took her to the trails and we explored for two hours. It was the best. Tomorrow, we are off to the quarry to hike and swim. I love my puppy time!

Well there's a lot I have to do this weekend. Hope yours is great, because I know mine will be!

74 Days: Feeling Great

Well, Bliz and I made it back to Chapel Hill in one piece. We stopped in Nashville Saturday night instead of doing it all in one night again. She is such a good watch dog, she just sat at the end of the bed and watched the door all night instead of sleeping, which made Sunday a great day of driving. She just snoozed the whole way. It's been so funny having her back in the hill though. Every time I leave she goes right to her kennel as she always has, but when I get home and let her out she is so dang excited and jumps up and down and runs circles around me licking my ankles and elbows (weird? maybe.). I love that furry animal.

It has been so great being back in my familiar gym with familiar faces... even if it is more crowded then ideal. I'm just happy to be back and smile (or curse.. depending on the lift) through my whole workouts. Yesterday I got all 32 pull ups unassisted and today I added 15# onto my dips. It was awesome doing things I either was nervous to attempt or hadn't completed yet. I'm still getting PRs on almost every exercise and progress is going great, in my opinion. I'm not going to lie, though, wearing a weight belt with the weight and chains hanging.. I felt like a true meathead. Proud moment :)

Nutrition has been awesome these last 4 days (the 2 day drive and 2 days I've been back in CH), despite all the temptations. We had a pot-luck lunch for the first years orientation - of which I could eat nothing - and then left overs and a birthday today, of which I ate nothing. AND it was angel food cake for the bday dessert! That is MY birthday cake. I get one from my lovely family EVERY day the week of my birthday. I may be spoiled.. but I just can't help how much my family loves me :) It honestly wasn't that hard to resist though. I'm getting down to it.. almost 10 weeks away.. and I'm devoting myself 100% to this. I have classmates and teachers give me so many wonderful compliments and bits of encouragement and support these last few days, and it truly is motivating. I want to do this. I want to transform my body. And I want to win. Period. I don't need to give in to temptations. A piece of cake may satisfy me for the 2 minutes it takes to eat it.. but accomplishing my goal will satisfy me for years. Easy choice!

I hope you all are having as great of a start to this week as I am. Don't worry about everything on your to-do list and everything you want to accomplish. Break it down into little steps -- mini goals -- and you will achieve anything!

"Slow down. There is no need to rush. Whatever happens in this day can prepare you for future days. Everything cannot happen at once. Allow each day to unfold as it is meant to be." - Kathy M Irr

91 Days: Farmer's Market and Spider Face

What a wonderful weekend it has been, and it's only Saturday morning! No work Fridays are really my new favorite thing. I got back to Chapel Hill Thursday night, woke up Friday and deep cleaned -- and I mean deep! -- my apartment. Washed the walls, baseboards, windows, blinds, vacuumed and dusted every corner, washed the floors, the toilet, the tub.. gosh I felt so GREAT by noon! I also went to the Teet and they had packs of fresh chicken Buy 2 Get 3 Free! That's $1.99/# people. A steal for chicken there. So I loaded up. Another positive note for yesterday, I was back down to normal weight when I stepped on the scale first thing of the day. A relief to say the least.

This morning I went to Carrboro's farmer's market for the first time ever--but not before stepping out of my door into a spider web and having a spider run across my face. That was fun... I was impressed with the farmer's market, though. It was nicely organized and was easy to navigate - which is comforting to someone who must see everything. I got some peanut almond butter (obsessed with any and all peanut butters)--made of peanuts, almonds (obviously), wildflower honey and sea salt--jalepenos, and arugula. Lunch today is going to be an orgasm in my mouth possibly. I'm drooling already, can't wait!

This time next week I will be reunited with Blizzard! It has been so long I can't wait to give that pretty girl the biggest hug in the world! I need to go shopping for her for a treat or new toy. I feel so bad having to abandon her all summer :( Although, I'm pretty sure she's had a blast swimming around at home with the big dogs. I already have so many play dates and adventures planned for us!

Speaking of going to Iowa, this week is going to be quite the adjustment for my workouts and meals. To make it work, I'm taking Friday off from the gym (since I'll be sitting in a car 16-22 hours) and working out this week Monday-Thursday, and Saturday, and then I'll get back on track the next week on Tuesday as usual. I'm planning my food as well for the trip. Everything has to be made and packed in serving size containers so that I know what to eat when, and has to be able to make a long trip in a cooler without going bad. I'm thinking turkey burgers and hard boiled eggs for my protein, almonds, lots and lots of veggies, sweet potato muffins (a new recipe I've been wanting to try out), etc. Once I make all the food and have it planned out, I'll share it with ya'll. It's going to be one crazy week, but I'm so excited to finish up with "work" and get back home to my family and friends.

Today's plans: make an mp3 CD with ~500 bluegrass songs for my road trip, plan my road trip food so I can cook tomorrow, do my online evaluation of my clinical, and buy books for school since it's the tax free weekend. Exciting day. And hopefully have time to spend laying in a field somewhere and just relaxing, as long as it stays this cool, beautiful weather. Have a happy day friends. Life is good!

Wednesday's Weakness

I just want tomorrow morning to be over with! Let me explain. I have been doing SO great resisting cravings and not even being tempted with snacks, treats for people's birthdays, etc. There is a classmate's birthday this Saturday, but because class ends Friday, and we are taking our test that day, I am making a treat to bring tomorrow. So I made this new cookie/brownie/bar/whatever you want to call it. Caramel-toffee-peanut butter-brownie (I used this recipe and changed a few things to make it a bit healthier and better imo) is what it is. I made it, and CJ was here and graciously offered to lick the batter and rinse the bowl IMMEDIATELY so I wouldn't have to deal with the temptation. Phew. Well now she is gone and the bars are just sitting on my counter. I can't eat one anyway, because then there wouldn't be enough for tomorrow, but they are just sitting there, staring at me, and seriously making me want to eat some sort of sweets. I just need them out of my house. I am not wasting my cheat meal on a damn cookie/bar/concoction. I refuse.

Despite this little temptation, todays nutrition has been SPOT ON! I am so excited, and it was so easy, and honestly I enjoyed every one of my meals. My morning snack is a little bland, so I may have to see if I can spare a few grams of different macros here and there to add salsa/cheese/something, but all in all, they are good. This is what I had today:

Breakfast:
4 egg whites, 1 egg, mixed with cilantro, onion, tomato, mushroom and mozzarella, and a slice of ezekial garlic toast
Mid-morning Snack:
4 oz chicken, broccoli, 3/4 c brown basmati rice (see, a little boring)
Lunch:
Chicken wrap with spinach, cilantro, onion, tomato, and cottage cheese. Which is AH-MA-ZING!
Post Workout Smoothie:
Protein powder, plain greek yogurt, strawberry/banana/blueberry/mango/raspberry (some combination), flax seed, and unsweetened vanilla almond milk
Dinner:
Chicken with mozzarella, sweet potato, broccoli
Evening Snack:
Chicken, Cinnamon Raisin Oatmeal, String Cheese

My dinner and evening snack changes regularly, but the other 4 meals are pretty set in stone. And I like it that way. It makes life simple and I know what to expect, and I'm always satisfied. Always. Except when I have to bake.

Workout today was interesting. I increased weight on EVERYTHING, yet for some reason I wasn't happy with it. And on the tricep dips, holy moly I thought my rib was going to pop right off my sternum. I did my first set of 12 with 105# on my lap. That was too easy, so next set of 10 I decided to throw a 25# plate on top of the stack and do 130#. Well I did 9 alright, went down for the 10th and couldn't get up. IT. HURT. Oh God I think I was bitching loud enough for the whole gym to hear. Lie, but you get the idea. Pissed me off. And that was towards the end of the workout, I was pissed off before. I don't know why because I did awesome, but it just didn't feel successful. I guess we all have those days where you are just too hard on yourself and nothing is going to be good enough. But here's the workout

Standing BB Press - 4 sets
Arnold Press - 4 sets and a drop set
Front Raise - 3 sets
Lateral Raise - 3 sets
Dips - 4 sets
Triceps Cable superset - 3 sets each
30 Pushups

Even though I increased weight on everything, and my chest was broken in half, I was so stoked about my pushups. I easily can do 30 in a row. The last 2 weeks I've been doing 15 with a narrow set base (hands right under my shoulders) and 15 with a wider set base (so that when I'm done, my hands are under my elbows) Today, I got 20 and 10. My goal for next week is to do all 30 with a narrow base. Doable. Or at least it will be!

Well, I'm exhausted, and I still have 6 slides of powerpoints to get through (I know, that really isn't that much, but I have to do it before bed. Stickin' to my schedule). I got to video chat with Bliz tonight (and my fam, obviously.. she's not that techy yet!) so that's why I'm up WAY past my bed time. Grandma might be cranky tomorrow if I don't wrap this up! Orientation for my new job at the Carolina Club tomorrow, so who knows when I'll finish studying for this final, but I think I'm good to go anyway. I'll just wing it :)

The week is half way over, y'all. If you've been slacking so far, put it behind you and kick it up a gear to finish the week off strong. Make it to the weekend while accomplishing your goals. Night!

Third Degree Burns

So I'm having this issue adjusting to life without my dog around. First of all, I have no back up alarm now. I used to not even have to set one and she'd wake me up at 4:30am and then again at 6:15 am like clockwork. And if I did set an alarm, the second it went off she'd be right there breathing out through her nose in small puffs which would get me out of bed. No snoozing. She was the best. And then last night while I was eating dinner, I cut a piece of chicken and stupidly tried to stop it from falling by catching it between my table and knee. Well I stopped it, and did I mention the chicken was HOT? So after what must have been 3rd degree burns, I let it fall to the floor, and first thing I thought was, Now who is going to clean that up since Blizzard isn't here? But I suppose the plus of her not being here is that my floors are much cleaner, and the 3 second rule has now turned into an as-many-seconds-as-I-want rule. So.. I suppose it's not completely a losing situation. I got to eat my floor chicken.

Umm.. I definitely just heard my neighbor burp. He may live alone, too, but he did not say Excuse me. I texted him to let him know I was offended. Moving on...

Workout today was great! I had triceps and chest (and eventually will throw in the cardio). It was a hard workout and I almost hit myself in the face with a 40# dumbbell.. conveniently, Ryan was there to lift it back up for me so I could finish my set. But I was pretty pumped about that. Before this week I had been doing 3 weeks of circuits. The circuits consisted of 5-7 exercises and had reps as high as 20-30. It was hard, but because the reps were so high, my weight was lower. I was doing this to lean out a bit, and as a result lost a little bit of strength, so I was super stoked to see that I'm still getting a PR every workout! Here's what I did today:

Narrow Push Ups
DB Bench Press
DB Flyes
Wide Push Ups
Triceps Kickbacks
Cable Triceps OH Extensions
Cable Triceps Pull-downs

I love that I am still getting "the pump" with my triceps exercises. It's such an awesome feeling. When all the blood is flowing to the muscles and they are just swollen (sigh).. love it. I'm such a meat head.

Wow, I get distracted too easily. I started making quinoa like.. an hour and a half ago. Put it on the stove to boil, by the time I remember it's there almost all of the chicken broth has evaporated. I figure this isn't an all bad thing since it needs to be absorbed anyway, so I cover it and let it simmer for 10 minutes. Well 10 minutes was up over 30 minutes ago. I checked it.. tastes better then last time. Which isn't too much of a feat because last time it was still soggy and awful. Forced it down anyway. But my plan is to mix it with some cherry tomatoes (the package says grape tomatoes but everyone keeps telling me they are cherry.. don't know who to believe. They might as well be called mini-tomatoes... seems more logical) spinach, onion, and who knows what else. Might even throw in some cottage cheese, it's good on everything, like peanut butter.

Well, I'm rambling. Off to do who-knows-what.. this whole getting out of class by 11:30/no class on Friday is great and all.. But I seriously have nothing to do. Maybe I'll tackle some Mario Kart. Gotta work on racing manually like my BIL (Brother-in-law) taught me over Easter..

Enjoy your weekend! Make a plan, don't over consume, and give yourself that ME time!