61 Days: Cookin' in Heels

Some days are harder then others to be perfect. No, I don't mean perfect in the sense that I am really unbelievably awesome (which is probably true), I mean with the nutrition. I want to get up on that stage in 2 months and be proud of how hard I worked and feel like I couldn't have done 1 thing differently. I want to say I didn't cheat and that I did better than expected and that I gave it my all. But in all reality, it's much harder then just saying you can do it - you have to actually do it. I have 8 weeks and 5 days to step it up. I have 61 days to lose ~ 5-7% body fat. I have 1,464 hours that I can't mess up. It seems like I have plenty of time to get there, but I'm more concerned with having plenty of time to blow it.

I know I shouldn't think like that. I am working my ass off and being very disciplined 99% of the time. But it's that 1% I'm worried about. I don't want to screw this up. I don't want to repeat my marathon experience in 2006. I want to be the best. I want to be MY best. This is all Harris Teeter's fault. They sold ice cream sandwiches for 97 cents. And I am a sucker for ice cream sandwiches. I went to the store JUST for them. How easy would that have been to avoid? It was a Sunday only special.. and I was planning on getting them since Thursday. Pathetic. I've told myself I would only eat 1/week until the competition.. indulge just enough to be perfect the rest of the week. But after doing that this Sunday.. I feel guilt. I feel like I'm giving up for a moment - one HELL of a moment I might add - of delicious, finger licking, ice cream. Thats 30g of carbs. Do you know how many cups of broccoli I could've had? Five! And I love broccoli. And I would've been full (maybe gassy too but.. I live alone and Blizzard loves me no matter what). But I opted for the treat and now I have to get myself back on track. I told this to someone today and they thought that I was being too regimented. They also told me I wouldn't be attractive anymore if I lost 5% body fat. To that I responded, Well, it's a good thing I'm not doing this so you'll find me attractive. I'm doing it for me. And I am right. I am doing this for me. I am doing this to see how dedicated and disciplined I can do. I am doing it to see if I really can work hard enough and quit making excuses to achieve my goals. I'm testing myself. And I want to accomplish this for myself. Not for them. I really believe that the only way you will reach a goal is if YOU are the one who wants to reach the goal. You need to do it for YOU.

Besides that moment of weakness (or moments since it was planned), things have been good. I've worked hard in the gym and increased weight steadily. On Mondays I get to do 25 pullups, splitting them up anyway I can, and this week I got 8-7-6-3. Not bad. My goal for next week is just to get 8-8-7-2, and the next week to do it in 3 sets. I can do it, I'm not worried. Nutrition today has been wonderful, cooked 4 pounds of chicken, a pound of tilapia, and a pound of hamburger in my figure heels. Breaking those babies in! I love them. I love heels. I used to get to wear them all the time in Kansas but people here never sport them. And I never go out anymore so.. that plays a big part in it. Maybe after this competition I'll never take them off. Plan is to wear them at least an hour a day. My right one fits perfectly, my left one squishes my pinky toe a bit and it won't lie flat.. I had to use a knife (butter) to get it to flatten out. But I got it there :)

I also made a new recipe today. Banana Walnut Protein Bread. I'll post the recipe in a minute for you. I think it's very good, especially warmed up with a teeny amount of peanut butter spread on it. I do think my mom's chocolate chip banana bread is better.. but this is healthier and its still delish.

Well homies, I need to plan out my nutrition for the weeks. I don't want any mistakes, any regrets this week. I want my weight to start decreasing and my body fat to drop. I am going to get there, and I am going to be perfect this week.  You can be too.